The Rules

So, for Valentine's Day, I made hubby Ryan a scrapbook called "The First Five Years." It's the story of the five years between when we first met and when we finally got married. I included all of the ups AND downs because they are all a part of the story. One section of the book is a few pages of things that I sent him during the second year of our off-again, on-again relationship. Sometimes I would find hilarious things on the internet or newspaper, and I would send them to him so he could laugh at them with me. This is one of those items:

The Rules

1. The FEMALE always makes the Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification by the FEMALE.

3. No MALE can possible know all the Rules.

4. If the FEMALE suspects that the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.

5. The FEMALE is never wrong.

6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding  which was a direct result of something the MALE said or did wrong.

7. The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.

9. The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.

10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The MALE is expected to mind-read at all times.

14. The FEMALE is ready when she is ready.

15. The MALE must be ready at all times.

16. Any MALE who doesn't abide by the Rules: can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

17. Any attempt to document the Rules could result in bodily harm.

18. If the FEMALE has PMS, all the Rules are null and void.

Hmm...now I think I understand why it took Ryan such a long time to want to marry me.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day everyone!