Moving...Again.

This is kind of a pathetic excuse for a post, but I haven't had much time today. So I will just say that I really strongly dislike moving. Luckily, this time it's only a ten-minute ride to the new place, and all our stuff was already packed up and in storage anyway, so it wasn't too tough.

Here's what I'm not sure how to deal with now. Kid A is tall enough now that he can reach the light switches. So all of my attempts to save money by keeping the lights off are really not going to work unless I do a walk-through of the whole house every five minutes. Is there any such thing as kid-proofing a light switch?

I'm going to bed now and I'll probably dream about boxes, packing tape, and various items that I didn't let myself take to DI. I'm going to have nightmares about this stuff until I just admit that it's all junk that I will never look at again, at which time I will reluctantly take it to DI and feel sad for exactly 5.2 seconds. Then life will go on.

LDS Storymakers

At the conference I went to last year (Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers), one of the authors (now I can't remember which one) told us that if we each don't write our books, no one else will. I think that is totally true. We each have stories to tell and do it in very different ways from each other. If we don't write that story, no one else will. If any of you reading this have ever wanted to write a book, I say DO IT!! Going to a conference is one of the best ways to get started because you can learn so much about the publishing process as well as the actual writing process.

This year I'm going to the LDS Storymakers Conference in Provo. It's only two days (which will be much easier than a whole week. This year I really can't do a whole week.) and the workshops are going to be awesome! It's for people writing books of any genre, and for publication anywhere, not just LDS markets. If you are an aspiring writer like me, check it out. GO! Seriously. It's totally worth it. No one else will write your story. Let me know if you want to come with me :)

The Rules

So, for Valentine's Day, I made hubby Ryan a scrapbook called "The First Five Years." It's the story of the five years between when we first met and when we finally got married. I included all of the ups AND downs because they are all a part of the story. One section of the book is a few pages of things that I sent him during the second year of our off-again, on-again relationship. Sometimes I would find hilarious things on the internet or newspaper, and I would send them to him so he could laugh at them with me. This is one of those items:

The Rules

1. The FEMALE always makes the Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification by the FEMALE.

3. No MALE can possible know all the Rules.

4. If the FEMALE suspects that the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.

5. The FEMALE is never wrong.

6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding  which was a direct result of something the MALE said or did wrong.

7. The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.

9. The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.

10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The MALE is expected to mind-read at all times.

14. The FEMALE is ready when she is ready.

15. The MALE must be ready at all times.

16. Any MALE who doesn't abide by the Rules: can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

17. Any attempt to document the Rules could result in bodily harm.

18. If the FEMALE has PMS, all the Rules are null and void.

Hmm...now I think I understand why it took Ryan such a long time to want to marry me.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day everyone!

I heart Shannon

So last year I read Princess Academy, which I LOVED. Shannon Hale has now written two adult fiction novels which I love even more. I just love her writing style and voice. They are so unique and I just feel like I get her sense of humor. In The Actor and the Housewife she even used my favorite phrase: For the love of all that is holy! I mean, I KNOW I didn't coin that phrase, but when I saw it in her book, I thought we must be (as Anne Shirley would say) kindred spirits. I wonder if Shannon Hale has a best friend. Do you think she would be weirded out if I called her and asked if I could be her best friend? Or maybe I could write a letter. Oh, a letter would be perfect! This is what I would write:     

Dear Shannon Hale:

I am your biggest fan. I haven't written a fan letter since I was ten and wrote to Mariah Carey, so you have to know that I'm serious about this. I love your books. All of them! Ok, that's a lie. I haven't read them ALL yet, but when I do, I just know that I will love them ALL! So, you live in Salt Lake, huh? Guess what! SO DO I!!! We should totally be best friends! (If you're willing to overlook the fact that I use exclamation points WAY too much, that is.) 

Call me! love ya!

Megs

This is my confession

The other night I was minding my own business, reading a book as my husband tried to sleep. I say tried because sometimes (ok, almost EVERY time) when I'm reading, he can't seem to relax. He tosses and turns a little bit, pulls the blanket up over his head, fluffs his pillow numerous times, and finally turns to look at me. I try to ignore him, but then he gently takes my right hand in his, and just holds it. Then he squeezes it and rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. You might think this is sweet, but here's what he is silently saying to me in the midst of all of these seemingly affectionate actions: "Megan, I'm about to go nuts. FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY AND FOR THE SAKE OF MY EXISTING CHILDREN AS WELL AS ANY UNBORN CHILDREN YOU MAY ONE DAY WISH TO HAVE, STOP NOW!!"

What is it that elicits this response from him, you might ask. Well here it is. I'm just going to lay it all out on the table. Face my demons. Confess to my addiction, and possibly ask for help.

I like paper.

There. I said it. Wow.
Ok, now let me explain this little (no...big, huge, GINORMOUS) fetish of mine. For some reason, I really, really like the feel of paper. You know when you're just finishing up reading a page and you grasp the top corner of the page and rub it to make sure you only have one page, and then you turn the page? Well, I do that HOURS before I actually need to turn the page. I rub the corner of the page I'm reading, then move on to the corner of the next page, then the next, then the next. When the book I'm reading gets more intriguing or suspenseful or funnier, I start flipping through the corners faster and faster. Sometimes I'll even start doing it with both hands. And if the book has glossy pages, it's even better! HOW WEIRD AM I?!

I have been doing this, and therefore annoying the crap out of people, for as long as I can remember. When I was younger and still living at home, my dad would slap my hand whenever he caught me rubbing the corners of my book. I remember unconsciously doing it at school and having people staring at me like I was a nut! And let's face it, I was! I didn't know how to stop the madness! I mean, I guess I could just stop reading, but then I might as well stop BREATHING too.

So, I thought to myself, "Self, great day! Today will be the day you stop this absurd habit and learn how to read like a NORMAL person." And that was my goal. Here are the steps I took:

#1- Admitted that I was powerless over my love of paper and that my reading time had become completely out of control.

#2- Admitted to my husband (and all of you) the exact nature of my problem.

#3- Became willing to have all defects removed.

#4- Tried to apologize to those I had annoyed, specifically, my husband, my dad, and various librarians and college professors.

#5-Made a concerted effort to keep my hands firmly attached to the sides of my book or magazine with fingers unmoving whenever I found myself reading.

#6- Made a commitment to myself to help others with this same problem to overcome it. Wait...THERE IS NO ONE ELSE WITH THIS SAME PROBLEM! I stand completely alone on this one. (although, I kinda think my son is going to have the same issue. He seems to really like paper as well. Poor little guy.)

So, how did it go, you ask?

...

Hi, my name is Megan. I like paper. And I have a paper cut. Let's just say that I DIDN'T get it by trying to tear open an envelope. Please love me anyway.