To Text or Not to Text?

A few days ago I'm driving in the car with my kids (probably going to Discovery Gateway or Arctic Circle or someplace like that) and the person on the radio is talking about a girl who died in a car accident while, most likely, texting or posting on Facebook. Then he reiterates what a sad story it is and that we should never text and drive.

Skip forward a few days. Again, driving in the car with the kids (see above), and I hear a radio announcer guy (MAYBE even the same guy who announced the death of the girl who was texting) say that he has movie tickets. He has TONS of movie tickets that he wants to give away. He will be giving them away RIGHT NOW! And all we have to do is...

...TEXT the word "show" to 74328.

Really?! Does anyone else feel there's something wrong with this? Like maybe the fact that, almost without thinking, I pulled out my phone, unlocked it and started trying to get to my text screen while doing 70 in the car pool lane past the stop-and-go traffic on I-15. Oblivious, for the moment, to the fact that people in Utah ignore the solid white lines of the HOV lane on a regular basis. Meaning that I could have been looking down for only .5 seconds before someone going 10 mph pulled in front of me while I wasn't paying attention.

Luckily, it only took me that half a second to realize that a movie is not worth endangering my children's lives. I would much rather arrive safely at Discovery Gateway or Arctic Circle and be able to see my children live another day because I thought about what I was doing.

Gilmore Girls in Need of New Home

I will sorely miss Lorelai, Rory, Luke, Logan, Michel, Christopher, Richard and Emily Gilmore and especially Paris Gellar. But they need to get out of my house NOW before I neglect any further motherly duties! Please help me!

This is the greatest show ever created! Witty, entertaining, well-written, and just plain HILARIOUS! I have seasons 3-7 and I'm selling them for $50 for all, or $10 each.

I feel like my heart is literally being ripped out of my chest as I'm posting these for sale, but I have to do it. I'm a mother of two kids and this show is causing MAJOR time wastage and I just can't have it in the house anymore! I think I have watched every episode at least eight times each. That's what I love most about this show. You don't have to watch it in any order. Usually, when I need a little break, I pick a number between 3 and 7 to choose which season, then a number between 1 and 7 to choose which disc and then a number between 1 and 22 to choose the episode. It's always a surprise which show I get to see, and it's ALWAYS a wonderful 40 minutes of my life.

When they are gone, I will most likely be found huddled in the fetal position on my floor, trying to overcome the withdrawal I will be going through.

(this is what I posted on KSL)

I Goofed

I'm so totally embarrassed. I know that it has been forever. Here are my excuses (in no particular order of importance...or un-importance, as the case may be):

1. I have kids.

2. One of those kids is a two year old.
3. I got married. Sure it was YEARS ago, but as a result:
4. I have a husband who likes eating dinner and having a semi-clean home.

5. Gilmore Girls

6. I was planning my husband's 30th birthday party
7. Gilmore Girls

8. Screaming children

9. Screaming children
10. Screaming children
11. Sleeping children and sleeping mommy
12. House Hunters International
13. I have kids (oh, did I already say that?)

14. It snowed. In May. I was depressed and couldn't write.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY:

15. I was busy revising my book and starting another one!

YES! It has been a GOOD couple of months! I attended the LDSStorymakers conference in Provo, Utah and it was wonderful! I loved, loved, LOVED it! The workshops were great. The people I met were great. And the big, fat "No, you DIDN'T win anything in the First Chapter Contest because your first chapter STINKS!" was really great too! Ok, so they didn't say that EXACTLY. But no I didn't win anything, and the reason it was still so great was because I got five reviews on my first chapter from other authors and people in the publishing business. And, ok, none of them said my first chapter stinks. There were two that were extremes (one that LOVED it and one that wasn't too big a fan) and the other three liked it a lot but had a bazillion things that I could do better. Which is a great thing! So I came home after the two days and spent hours rewriting just my first chapter, and I think it's SO much better now!

The other thing that this conference inspired me to do was to start writing my first novel for the LDS market. The ideas have been sloshing around in my brain for a couple of years but I had yet to write anything down. Now I have the storyline all figured out and five chapters written. So, even though I have grossly neglected my blogs, I promise that I have been a busy writing bee (Do bees know how to write or just how to spell?). So feel free to click back here often because I feel like I'm finally back on track!!

The New Kitten

When I was four my best friend Amy's family lived next door to us. One day she had an uncle over visiting and he told us that if we would each write a story, he would make them into a book for us. So I wrote (or actually dictated to him) The New Kitten  and Amy wrote (dictated) The Bunnies That Lived in the New House and the Sister Couldn't Find the House.  Her uncle took them and a couple of weeks later brought us both copies of our "book." The book consisted of our stories (hand-written by him on half-sheets of white paper) bound with brads between two pieces of light-blue card stock with the titles and our names (although slightly misspelled) written on the front. We were so excited!! We had written a book!

So without further introduction, I give you my very first "published" work:

The New Kitten

by Megan Dennis

There was once a little kitten who was born in a dark cosy closet and she lived with her mother and loved her mother so much and she was a little kitten and she played a lot. Her sister was bad to her. Sometimes she yelled at her. And then her mother told her not to come to the house because she was mean to her sister. Her dad was at work but he just worked to find food because there was no other work to go to. He had to stay a longer time but come home with a hundred food because there was a lot. Her dad brought a lot of food. Because winter was coming. They moved to a place that was bigger for winter. Her sister came back again and went to her old house but nobody was there and she was crying. Her sister was looking for them in their new house. Her sister found her playing in her new house. When her mom and dad went to work she played all by herself in the new house. The kitten was crying because she wanted her mother to feed her. The mother had a new baby. 

The End

Wow. What a literary masterpiece, huh? And really, the title of Amy's story could have been the title of my story...except that hers is about bunnies, not kittens. I'm not sure what we had against sisters, especially since neither of us had one yet at that point in time. And I promise, my parents DID feed me when I was four. And they DID NOT leave me at home alone to play by myself.

I better call my mom and let her know she may or may not get a call from social services.

Waiting for Comcast

 

I swear, we totally have this much stuff. But not that many people. I don't think.

Done moving...no internet...will post next week. Just as a preview, here is the title of my next post:

Wisdom of the World:  Finding Nemo, Alana Davis, and Goldfish Crackers

Stay tuned!

Moving...Again.

This is kind of a pathetic excuse for a post, but I haven't had much time today. So I will just say that I really strongly dislike moving. Luckily, this time it's only a ten-minute ride to the new place, and all our stuff was already packed up and in storage anyway, so it wasn't too tough.

Here's what I'm not sure how to deal with now. Kid A is tall enough now that he can reach the light switches. So all of my attempts to save money by keeping the lights off are really not going to work unless I do a walk-through of the whole house every five minutes. Is there any such thing as kid-proofing a light switch?

I'm going to bed now and I'll probably dream about boxes, packing tape, and various items that I didn't let myself take to DI. I'm going to have nightmares about this stuff until I just admit that it's all junk that I will never look at again, at which time I will reluctantly take it to DI and feel sad for exactly 5.2 seconds. Then life will go on.

LDS Storymakers

At the conference I went to last year (Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers), one of the authors (now I can't remember which one) told us that if we each don't write our books, no one else will. I think that is totally true. We each have stories to tell and do it in very different ways from each other. If we don't write that story, no one else will. If any of you reading this have ever wanted to write a book, I say DO IT!! Going to a conference is one of the best ways to get started because you can learn so much about the publishing process as well as the actual writing process.

This year I'm going to the LDS Storymakers Conference in Provo. It's only two days (which will be much easier than a whole week. This year I really can't do a whole week.) and the workshops are going to be awesome! It's for people writing books of any genre, and for publication anywhere, not just LDS markets. If you are an aspiring writer like me, check it out. GO! Seriously. It's totally worth it. No one else will write your story. Let me know if you want to come with me :)

The Rules

So, for Valentine's Day, I made hubby Ryan a scrapbook called "The First Five Years." It's the story of the five years between when we first met and when we finally got married. I included all of the ups AND downs because they are all a part of the story. One section of the book is a few pages of things that I sent him during the second year of our off-again, on-again relationship. Sometimes I would find hilarious things on the internet or newspaper, and I would send them to him so he could laugh at them with me. This is one of those items:

The Rules

1. The FEMALE always makes the Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification by the FEMALE.

3. No MALE can possible know all the Rules.

4. If the FEMALE suspects that the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.

5. The FEMALE is never wrong.

6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding  which was a direct result of something the MALE said or did wrong.

7. The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.

9. The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.

10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The MALE is expected to mind-read at all times.

14. The FEMALE is ready when she is ready.

15. The MALE must be ready at all times.

16. Any MALE who doesn't abide by the Rules: can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

17. Any attempt to document the Rules could result in bodily harm.

18. If the FEMALE has PMS, all the Rules are null and void.

Hmm...now I think I understand why it took Ryan such a long time to want to marry me.

Happy Belated Valentine's Day everyone!

I heart Shannon

So last year I read Princess Academy, which I LOVED. Shannon Hale has now written two adult fiction novels which I love even more. I just love her writing style and voice. They are so unique and I just feel like I get her sense of humor. In The Actor and the Housewife she even used my favorite phrase: For the love of all that is holy! I mean, I KNOW I didn't coin that phrase, but when I saw it in her book, I thought we must be (as Anne Shirley would say) kindred spirits. I wonder if Shannon Hale has a best friend. Do you think she would be weirded out if I called her and asked if I could be her best friend? Or maybe I could write a letter. Oh, a letter would be perfect! This is what I would write:     

Dear Shannon Hale:

I am your biggest fan. I haven't written a fan letter since I was ten and wrote to Mariah Carey, so you have to know that I'm serious about this. I love your books. All of them! Ok, that's a lie. I haven't read them ALL yet, but when I do, I just know that I will love them ALL! So, you live in Salt Lake, huh? Guess what! SO DO I!!! We should totally be best friends! (If you're willing to overlook the fact that I use exclamation points WAY too much, that is.) 

Call me! love ya!

Megs

This is my confession

The other night I was minding my own business, reading a book as my husband tried to sleep. I say tried because sometimes (ok, almost EVERY time) when I'm reading, he can't seem to relax. He tosses and turns a little bit, pulls the blanket up over his head, fluffs his pillow numerous times, and finally turns to look at me. I try to ignore him, but then he gently takes my right hand in his, and just holds it. Then he squeezes it and rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. You might think this is sweet, but here's what he is silently saying to me in the midst of all of these seemingly affectionate actions: "Megan, I'm about to go nuts. FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY AND FOR THE SAKE OF MY EXISTING CHILDREN AS WELL AS ANY UNBORN CHILDREN YOU MAY ONE DAY WISH TO HAVE, STOP NOW!!"

What is it that elicits this response from him, you might ask. Well here it is. I'm just going to lay it all out on the table. Face my demons. Confess to my addiction, and possibly ask for help.

I like paper.

There. I said it. Wow.
Ok, now let me explain this little (no...big, huge, GINORMOUS) fetish of mine. For some reason, I really, really like the feel of paper. You know when you're just finishing up reading a page and you grasp the top corner of the page and rub it to make sure you only have one page, and then you turn the page? Well, I do that HOURS before I actually need to turn the page. I rub the corner of the page I'm reading, then move on to the corner of the next page, then the next, then the next. When the book I'm reading gets more intriguing or suspenseful or funnier, I start flipping through the corners faster and faster. Sometimes I'll even start doing it with both hands. And if the book has glossy pages, it's even better! HOW WEIRD AM I?!

I have been doing this, and therefore annoying the crap out of people, for as long as I can remember. When I was younger and still living at home, my dad would slap my hand whenever he caught me rubbing the corners of my book. I remember unconsciously doing it at school and having people staring at me like I was a nut! And let's face it, I was! I didn't know how to stop the madness! I mean, I guess I could just stop reading, but then I might as well stop BREATHING too.

So, I thought to myself, "Self, great day! Today will be the day you stop this absurd habit and learn how to read like a NORMAL person." And that was my goal. Here are the steps I took:

#1- Admitted that I was powerless over my love of paper and that my reading time had become completely out of control.

#2- Admitted to my husband (and all of you) the exact nature of my problem.

#3- Became willing to have all defects removed.

#4- Tried to apologize to those I had annoyed, specifically, my husband, my dad, and various librarians and college professors.

#5-Made a concerted effort to keep my hands firmly attached to the sides of my book or magazine with fingers unmoving whenever I found myself reading.

#6- Made a commitment to myself to help others with this same problem to overcome it. Wait...THERE IS NO ONE ELSE WITH THIS SAME PROBLEM! I stand completely alone on this one. (although, I kinda think my son is going to have the same issue. He seems to really like paper as well. Poor little guy.)

So, how did it go, you ask?

...

Hi, my name is Megan. I like paper. And I have a paper cut. Let's just say that I DIDN'T get it by trying to tear open an envelope. Please love me anyway.